It’s been a while since I’ve blogged an update to how I’ve been feeling with the PND. I refuse to call it MY, PND because that would make it personalised. It would be like I was making it mine and I refuse to make it mine. It’s a disease that’s afflicted me but I am surviving it but it’s not my disease. I refuse to own it.
The Venlafaxine is working…maybe. I don’t feel much different. I’m thankful it no longer makes me nauseus and can now take it on an empty stomach. If I have to.
I’m slowly trying to get back on my feet. A friend hit the nail on the head the other day when she said, ‘It’s kind of like I’m sitting up in bed looking around at all the stuff that’s happened since I fell into a depression and thinking, holy shit! Now I gotta pick up the pieces.’ And she’s exactly right. I’m slowly getting into routines, setting up my home the way I like it and the way that now works for us as a young family with a 19 month old. It’s going to take time and I have to make sure that I’m taking baby steps.
Unfortunately it’s in my nature to have all these fantastic ideas and want to zoom ahead with them. I’m having to force myself to take things slow and steady so I don’t burn myself out. It’s difficult because I’m finally feeling a bit more energetic – well I was before I got sick with all this cold/flu/bronchitis and cracked rib rubbish.
I’ve been sick for six long weeks. It started out as a cold then I got knocked with flu, then a persistent chesty cough coupled with the asthma I get when I’m sick and I cracked a rib.
Then because of very shallow breathing I got bronchitis which I’m now on antibiotics to help rid me of it. Unfortunately, depression weakens your immune system and what with taking DD to playgroups regularly we pick up all sorts of lurgies that linger.
And well that’s it for the update. Just taking things slow and steady. For now I’m surviving PND. I hope by the end of this year to have survived it and be thriving.
Watch this space.